I AM AN ANIMAL

“Primitive memory forced itself up through the earth and into my gut. Like a cold diurnal snake responding to morning’s warm sun, my insides uncoiled. Tear-filled eyes watched fascinated as the hands in front of me, my hands, clawed desperately at the earth. I must touch the truth, feel it in my hands. It is here on this rainforest floor. Here in Earth’s moist womb. A force of their own, my hands grasped for leaf and twig. With life clenched between my fingers I remembered who I am. My ears pricked at the sound of a primitive wail. Oooouuuaaaaahhhhhh. Is that animal cry mine? Is that me who cries out, thirsting for life?

“Once the female animal remembers who she is, she won’t willingly forget. She’ll fight ruthlessly to protect her acute animal intelligence. A wild sensuous longing drove me to scoop up handfuls of earth and rub it onto my arms and legs. Brown dirt smeared my tear-stained face. My hair hung wild and full of leaves and debris. My entire body sobbed and laughed simultaneously as I awoke to pain and joy, more life than I imagined possible.”  ~ Excerpt: Naked in Eden

EVIL DOES NOT EXIST IN THE FOREST

“Once I understood, deep in my body, that I dwelled in the arms of a highly intelligent, creative and harmonious being--the rainforest--I learned to listen more and judge less. As a result of my new openness, the forest taught me not to interfere in the life-and-death struggles I witnessed every day. I was forced to discard my social conditioning in which I had perceived these occurrences as disgusting, evil, and unfair. — Robin, you have been taught to perceive the snake as evil and the bird as beauty. But evil does not exist in this forest.

“As I reflected on these words, my thoughts returned to my night walk to the ferry landing and the lady who’d been taken by a croc. I began to glimpse the food chain through new eyes. I better understood why I wanted to know the creatures of the forest, especially the potentially deadly creatures. I salivated for the wild raw energy of the rainforest. A primordial memory of a life once lived in the food chain had awakened in me and lured me into the night. I wanted to know this long-forgotten and unused part of myself still stored in my cells. I hungered on the most basic level to experience it, if only for a time. Instinctively I knew it would help me to heal. To know my ancient self would help me be more fully present in this current time. I would know my place with the rest of life on planet Earth. I would know myself as both human and animal. I would know my origins.” ~ Excerpt: Naked in Eden

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RITE OF PASSAGE

“Something wild and elemental raced through my veins and drew me into the dark night. Some primal force drove me to test myself until I understood the laws of Mother Nature, even if it meant risking my life. I couldn’t allow myself to be limited by fear. I had an insatiable appetite for living. I wanted to explore other realities and possibilities. How brainwashed was I? And did it reduce my life experience to mediocrity? What lay beyond social taming and the known world? 

“Prior to arriving in the rainforest I had never been through any initiations, no tests of courage or rites of passage. The forest offered me a way to challenge myself that I’d not found in society. I was able to uncover a compelling sense of self, based on firsthand experience, which would last a lifetime. I sought out adventure because it set me free and showed me who I am and what I’m capable of.” ~ Excerpt: Naked in Eden